Traveling With Pets

I have two white, fluffy snowballs that pass for dogs. I won’t share their names with you, because they’re too embarrassing, but I will tell you they were named after breakfast cereals. They are both miniature American Eskimos and can do all kinds of tricks, as long as you have a treat (or say you have a treat; they’re easy to fool). My dogs make great traveling companions, but it is nigh impossible to find accommodations for them sometimes, which is understandable, considering some people are allergic to them and others are simply cat people. Most of the time, my wife and I end up leaving them with a family member and we go have adventures on our own, but this last weekend turned into a real treat for my two small abominable snowmen.

Since the National Parks’ entrance fees were zilch this last week, my wife and I loaded our camping gear into the back of our Jeep and headed down to Southern Utah on Friday afternoon. Our dogs were ecstatic to be thrown in the car with blankets, firewood and a tent.
The temperature didn’t improve as we neared Beaver like we had hoped; in fact, it got colder. We wanted to avoid paying extra pet fees at a hotel, so we drove up Beaver Canyon and found a little spot off the road to sleep for the night. None of the campgrounds were open yet, and it was pretty chilly (mid 30s), but we were fine turning the back of our Jeep into a makeshift bed. It was a tad bit cramped, but the dogs loved it. They’re happiest when they’re snuggled up next to us. We had to keep shoving them out of the way during the night as we vied for comfort. It’s probably a good thing they were trying to snuggle, because it got colder as the night wore on, and we were all glad to have a warm body to get next to.
Morning arrived and we continued on our journey toward Bryce Canyon. We had done a little research and discovered that pets are allowed into the National Parks. With “pets,” I assume that dogs are the main animal falling into this category, though I imagine there are quite a few people who take their cats everywhere with them. I’m sure there are plenty of other folks who take their ferrets or iguanas or parrots with them. I wonder if the park rangers would let you in with a lion as long as you clarified that the lion is your pet. Might be fun to find out. Anyone have a lion?
There were a few restrictions that we had to observe while visiting the National Parks with our dogs: the dogs could not run around like ruffians, rather had to be on leashes and kept away from the main areas of attraction; we couldn’t leave them in the car by themselves; and they couldn’t be nuisances. My dogs didn’t care that they couldn’t enjoy the park as much as pet-less human beings; they were happy to be along for the ride, judging by the tongues hanging out of their mouths as we drove by the beautiful, pink cliffs in Bryce Canyon.
We spent a good four hours in Bryce, and then we headed down to Zion National Park, where it was considerably warmer (in the low 70s). In Zion, there was one trail that we could take our dogs on, called the Pa’rus Trail. It’s one of the easiest hikes in Zion, and for good reason: it’s paved and flat. Well, it’s flat for at least the first mile. That’s as far as we got before I turned to my wife and said, “I didn’t come all this way to walk along a paved path. Let’s go do some real adventuring.” We enjoyed driving through Zion, but we will have to go another time when our dogs are staying with someone else. I really wanted to hike some of the trails and see more of the park that is accessible only by shuttle. Next time we go, we’ll most likely purchase an annual pass to the National Parks and other federally managed areas of interest. It’s only $80 for unlimited access to the National Parks, Forests and Monuments, compared to the regular $25 fee each visit to one National Park. And if you’re a senior citizen, it’s only $10 for the year.
After leaving Zion, it was about 4 pm, and we decided to go find another free camping area. Luckily, we had a Utah atlas that indicated where many of the camping areas in the state are located. We drove right to a secluded camping area near Leeds, Utah (around mile marker 23 on I-15) and set up our tent and got a fire going. Our dogs were having the time of their relatively short lives as they ran about exploring every tree, bush and rock. It was nice to enjoy the warmth and solitude of Southern Utah, and it was even nicer to have two dogs that warned us of any suspected danger. At one point, I think the dogs saved us from the trouble of having camping neighbors. There is nothing worse than finding the perfect camping spot and then a carload of hooligans pulls up and sets up their camp. Anyway, a couple of cars slowly approached our campsite, eyeing a juicy bit of flat ground and a finely crafted fire pit, but at the sight of the dogs they continued on their way. Somehow my dogs knew that we needed some peace and quiet and they made sure we had it. My dogs will be on every camping trip I ever go on.

Gardening

If you’ve been outside lately, you may have exposed yourself to a very contagious condition and not even known it. Symptoms of this highly communicable disease include: rummaging through all the crap you acquired over the last year and haphazardly throwing most of it away; commanding your kids to do random chores around the house, like cleaning the windows or mowing the lawn; and digging up earth and throwing plant seeds in the ground, hoping that the seeds will grow into something edible later on in the year. Yes, Spring Fever is in the air, and no, that’s not what’s giving the air its distinct aroma. That’s Farmer Joe spreading manure over his fields. Many of the symptoms of Spring Fever are tiresome and depressing (mostly the ones that include cleaning things), but planting seeds in the ground can be fun and rewarding. If you haven’t started yet, this week would be a great time to start a garden.
You may be one of the “lucky” people with so much yard you don’t know what to do with it (other than make your children mow it every week), and I envy you for that. My yard is quite small, and in the backyard, trees block most of the sunlight during the day. This year, most of my garden will be in pots. That way I don’t have to dig up my front yard, where the sun does shine. Plus, if any of the plants need more or less sun, I can simply relocate the pot. My wife and I are growing tomatoes, strawberries, peppers, and cilantro this year. It’s not a lot, but every little bit helps. There’s nothing like tasting fresh food that you picked a few seconds ago off a plant you helped grow, and then realizing that it cost you a fraction of the price you would have paid at the grocery store.
Gardens are fun to watch as the different plants increase in size. I’ve often heard that you should talk to your plants to help them grow bigger, but beware! Don’t give your fruits and vegetables names; it’s that much harder to harvest and eat them. Besides talking to your plants, I’ve also heard that using metal in the garden (i.e. wire tomato cages, metal bean poles) can actually increase productivity. It’s called “electroculture” and it’s based on the fact that plants respond positively to electric currents. Placing metal in your garden can help attract electricity in the air, which will not only reanimate monsters named Frankenstein, but also boost your plants’ desire to provide you with more food. Cool, huh?
Science has always fascinated me, especially when I was a young boy. What didn’t fascinate me as a young boy was picking weeds. It may be hard to believe, but I am still not fascinated with having to rip something out of the ground that I swear I just ripped out two days ago. Weeds are the bane of any green thumb’s aspirations. Fortunately, science has made it easier and easier to rid our gardens and lawns of those pesky plants that can steal water and nutrients away from our precious fruits and vegetables. Some herbicides can target only weeds, saving you time and effort. Hooray for weed killer! Be careful to follow the instructions on the herbicide’s container, though, as too much of a good thing can end up killing more than just weeds.
I hope you enjoy this spring season despite some of the crazier side effects of Spring Fever. I wish you joy as you watch plants begin to sprout and then grow leaves and then start forming small likenesses of various fruits and vegetables. The only people I must withhold that joy from are the zucchini-growers. If I receive another box-load of zucchini on my porch this year, I’m going to do something drastic, like make bread out of it and then feed it to my dogs! Okay, maybe I won’t go that insane, but try leaving something different on my porch this year, like potatoes, or carrots, or even a big-screen TV that you decided you didn’t need during one of your spring cleaning flings. Thanks!

National Parks

If you haven’t already heard, the fees to enter any of the five Utah National Parks will be waived from April 17th through April 25th this year. If you’ve never been to Canyonlands, Zion, Arches, Bryce Canyon or Capitol Reef, now would be a great time to see what thousands of tourists come to Utah for every year (other than to check out the beautiful people). If you have been to any of Utah’s National Parks, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind going back to revisit the beauty and splendor of some of the coolest National Parks around. Sure, Yellowstone’s got bubbling pits of death and the Grand Canyon has trails that a donkey can barely fit on, but the fees at Zion’s next week are free!
Sadly enough, of the five parks I have only been to Bryce Canyon. It’s true what they say about your own backyard: it’s not as interesting as someone else’s. I’ve been to the top of the Eiffel Tower, I’ve strolled the castles of Bavaria, I’ve enjoyed the white sands of the Bahamas, I’ve even driven through miles and miles and miles of corn in Nebraska, but I’ve never seen the awesome landscapes of Southern Utah. As a native Utahn, shame on me. I am committed one way or another to visit one or more of the National Parks next week, mostly because I don’t have to pay any entrance fees, but also because it just keeps snowing up here and I really want to go on a good hike.
When I visited Bryce Canyon four years ago, it was a fairly uneventful excursion. Don’t get me wrong; I loved the scenery. The orange-red rocks with the stark contrast of the green fir trees growing on them was very cool to witness, but nothing really exciting happened. There wasn’t any threat of death as I wandered the many wonders of the park. Isn’t that what exploring nature is all about? Whether it’s sliding down the face of a mountain, or evading the attacking wildlife, or keeping ahead of a raging flash flood, exploration is about man’s struggle with the natural elements. As humans, we need to show nature that we are not so easily defeated, and we will continue to pit ourselves against nature because we do not realize how easily we can be defeated until we’re falling off a cliff or finding ourselves buried in quicksand or in the middle of a shark feeding frenzy. That’s what it’s all about: the unknown.
Maybe you’ll come in contact with the unknown next week as you’re hiking Angel’s Landing in Zion National Park. The unknown would scare a lot of people who end up staying home watching television because they can’t face it. But not you. You’re enticed just as much as I am to go have an adventure, especially one that’s a little less expensive because of the waived fees. Beware, though; if you want to live life to the fullest as you visit the National Parks, you will still need to pay for camping, tunnel escorts, and backcountry permit fees. It’s easy to make a day trip out of one of the parks and spend a minimal amount of dough, though. If you can get yourself out of bed early enough in the morning, you could drive down, enjoy a National Park for 5 or 6 hours and get home in time for the 10 o’clock news, where you may see stories about people who pitted themselves against nature and lost.
Remember how 2010 is going to be remembered as the Year of the Outdoors? (If you missed that column, it was a good one.) Well, the Utah National Parks people are really making it easy on you to go explore and discover heaven on earth. Make sure you don’t discover hell on earth, though, because you forgot the bug spray or maps. Always go prepared into battle with nature. You may not realize it’s a fight when you’re looking at a cute little chipmunk eating the cracker you just threw it, but when you’re stuck on the ledge of a cliff with no idea how you got there, you’ll realize how dirty nature fights. Man vs. Nature: a never-ending, epic battle. Unfortunately, nature seems to be immortal; man, not so much. Check the Utah National Parks website at www.utah.com/nationalparks/ for any information that may help you get prepared for your adventures. Have fun appreciating your own backyard!

Gotcha!

Well, I guess the Easter bunny saw his shadow too. You thought you could retrieve all your tools from the shed and start some yard work because it’s April, and suddenly Mother Nature decides she’s not done with winter yet. I have some flowers in my front yard that definitely wish she would make up her mind. It’s life or death for them, not just some April Fool’s joke. If Mother Nature is reading this, might I remind you that April Fool’s is only the first day of April, not the whole month. I believe we’ve received more snow in the first few weeks of spring than we did all winter. If you’ve been praying for moisture, make sure the next time you do, you specify what kind of moisture. Some April showers would be nice. April hail and sleet storms are not so nice.
If you think the weather is acting quite immaturely this year, I will proceed to provide a few reminders that it could always be worse. Mother Nature has a few good pranks up her sleeve, one of which is the ice storm. First, she takes a bunch of rain and dumps it on a large metropolitan area, and then she employs a heavy-duty, cold-air blow dryer, and freezes the water as it’s dripping down buildings and vegetation. The whole town looks like Midway’s Zermatt Resort in the winter with its crazy ice formations. It’s quite funny when people go to open their front door and it’s frozen solid. It’s even funnier when they finally get their front door open only to approach their completely iced-over vehicle. Forget the ice-scraper; they either need a jackhammer or a whole lotta patience as they wait for the sun to melt the ice. It has to be nice to make that call: “Hey, Jim, I can’t come to work today.” “Why not, Hank?” “I’m iced in.” “Good one, Hank. Ha ha. I expect to see you in the next half-hour. Hang on a minute, Hank. My front door won’t open. Hey, Mary, the front door is stuck. Hank, I’ll see you in a few…”
If an ice storm seems like an immature joke to you, how about non-aqueous rain? There is such a phenomenon as non-aqueous rain. “Rain that isn’t water? Impossible,” you say. Tell that to Hondurans between the months of May and July, when fish actually rain down upon the city of Yoro. Somehow, due to strong winds, the fish are literally swept away into a cloud and rained down over dry land hundreds of miles from where they were sucked up. Other crazy non-aqueous rains have included coal and frogs. When I first heard of such nonsense, I immediately thought about the phrase “it’s raining cats and dogs,” and I secretly hoped that somewhere in the world there is a place where little cats and dogs do come out of the sky like the fish in Yoro. Unfortunately I have not been able to find one account of such an event during my extensive research on the Interweb (I spent about 30 seconds looking; if Google can’t pull up any results, it doesn’t exist, right?).
There are numerous other weather phenomena that I could talk about, but they’re just not as funny as ice storms and animal rain. In fact Mother Nature can be downright nasty sometimes. I’m glad that we’re receiving more snow rather than earthquakes and tsunamis. I just wish I hadn’t put most of my winter outdoor gear at the back of my garage. Leave it to Mother Nature to keep humans on their toes.