Water Water Everywhere

Gardening stores in Utah are offering a new product this year to complement the extremely wet weather we’ve been experiencing: rice. That’s right. Rice. Forget your hardy vegetables that will grow with minimal water, like zucchini; start a rice paddy in your very own backyard! And with the way wet weather is running amok across the United States, we may never need to import a single grain of rice again. Hooray! Seriously, though, some of you may be ready to give up on trying to enjoy any sort of spring planting, because the river that borders your property has found every hole in your fence and exploited it. And nevermind about any outdoors activities, unless you enjoy being cold and wet and muddy.

Water is an amazing force. Much of our unique and beautiful landscape here in Utah was formed by water. If water were a person, it would typically be stereotyped as the “strong, silent type.” Every now and again it enters a rage that can only be quelled by allowing it to run its course, as in the case of a tsunami or flash flood. Water is a master deceiver. It wants you to believe that it is calm and inviting on the surface, but sometimes that welcoming appearance conceals a violent undercurrent or writhing sea serpent.

Right now it’s pretty easy to gauge water’s mood based on the rivers: it’s angry and fed up with being confined between two boring banks. The rivers of our great nation have united and started a revolution. They’re not content to be meandering entities that stay within their allotted boundaries anymore. They’ve seen how the water over in Japan has wreaked havoc and they want to become larger bodies of water in order to wield a similar power. Don’t worry, though, it’s a phase and the rivers will become peaceful in a short while.

Like any revolution, water has demonstrated how a seemingly harmless thing can become a force to be reckoned with. Instead of fighting back, we humans typically try to take defensive measures by sandbagging and diverting the flow of water to avoid major damage to structures. Taking the offensive doesn’t make much sense when trying to contain a raging river. All we can do is try to prevent flooding, and if that fails, stay out of the way and let the water calm itself down.

Some people see a river that is extremely angry and think, “This is the perfect time to ride an inner tube down that river. It’s like a rollercoaster, except I don’t have to pay!” Unfortunately, there sometimes is a price and it’s usually that person’s life. Rivers practice their own brand of watery deception: the playful kind. The rapids on top simply look like they’d provide an excellent adventure, but an undercurrent, fast-floating debris, and shallow or sharp rocks can quickly change an adventure into a life-and-death struggle.

Many of our rivers here in Utah are becoming quite unruly, so be extremely careful around them. Luckily for us, they can’t smell or sense fear, so they won’t specifically target you; on the other hand, though, they lash out indiscriminately and all it takes is for you to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Unless you’re helping set up defensive structures, it’s probably best to stay away from the angry rivers. And while you’re staying away from the furious flows, allow yourself a smile and think about all the money you’re going to save this year on rice. Hope you’ve stocked up on soy sauce!

Bringing Nature Inside

Utah can be a dreary place sometimes. After a taste of summery weather and sunshine, the rain can dampen the outdoor spirit. I like rain, but only when I don’t have to go out in it. Rain keeps me from going on hikes, because I can’t stand to get muddy. Campouts are never much fun when rain stops you from building a campfire. Rain forces most people inside, and people are already cooped up in their houses too much anyway. For an outdoor enthusiast like myself, rain is not my friend. Rain is only helpful to the weatherproofed fisherman (and growing plants, I suppose).

When rain forces you indoors for days or weeks at a time, you can still enjoy the outdoors in your home. It may take a little imagination and preparation, but the wonders of nature are easily observable from the comfort of even your couch. For example, you could start a succulent terrarium. Everybody has an old fish tank lying around somewhere, and if you don’t, consider using an old glass bowl or a wide vase. In addition to the container, all you have to procure are some pebbles, succulent-specific soil and succulent plants, such as aloe vera or even a cactus. There is plenty of free information on the Internet that can help you ensure that your terrarium is a success. The nice thing about succulents is that they require less attention and care than most other houseplants (you know, the plants that always die when you go on vacation). The time you put into succulents is well worth the beauty they lend to your home.

Another fun activity that brings the outdoors indoors is creating art out of natural materials, such as feathers or rocks or leaves. The next time it’s not raining and you’re on a hike, pick up some odds and ends to use in an art project. That way you’ll be ready for the next rainy day. Not only is it extremely fun to create art with nature, it can be very, well, artistic. If you can find a suitable frame, or build your own out of branches, your artwork could easily grace the walls of your home. Art like that is sure to be a conversation starter when you have guests over. By the way, adults usually have just as much fun with this activity as kids, so involve the whole family. In the case that you haven’t been able to stockpile natural materials, sometimes it is fun to simply draw or paint animals, trees, water and other nature scenes.

There are plenty of other activities that can help you connect with nature throughout the rain-soaked spring. Couch cushion forts, ghost stories, and roast marshmallows over a gas stove can almost replace real camping. Dressing your kids up like animals and shooting them with foam arrows can be as exciting as hunting. Turn your house into a forest by using cardboard and paper, pull your kiddie pool in from the garage and fill it up with paper fish, and go fishing with a pole made from a stick, yarn, and clothespin. The possibilities are endless, as long as you have an imagination and a love for the outdoors.

Stuck in the Mud

It’s going to be a very wet April and May judging by the amount of snow that will soon be melting. For many of you that means you’ll be pitting your vehicles against the soggy trails in the mountains, mostly just for fun. There are few prouder than those who have mud covering every inch of their truck. Instead of having to boast out loud about how they live life on the edge, their truck screams it for them. You can tell the real serious mudders by the winch on the front of their vehicle. Not only do they know how to get out of a pickle, they know how to relish it.

I once owned a Jeep that had a seal on its frame indicating that it was “Trail Rated” or some such nonsense. I quickly found out, though, that the only trails it was rated for were the kind with lots of asphalt over the top of them. While out camping, I decided to take a trail that led out into the middle of a meadow where half of an old cabin stood. As the Jeep made its way using the tire tracks of previous vehicles, I could sense that the ground was a bit “squishy.” I wasn’t worried, however, because I had a “Trail Rated” Jeep, and surely a smidgen of squishiness wouldn’t stop me. Upon reaching the cabin, I began turning back to return from whence I came, but a knoll caught my eye and I thought, “Hey, my Jeep can handle that knoll.” Sure enough, the Jeep handled the knoll just fine; it was the shady part right past the small hill that proved unsuitable even for an upstanding Jeep like mine. As soon as the front tires made contact with the shadowy ground, the Jeep sunk down about a half-foot. “This is nothing,” I thought, pressing down on the gas pedal some more. I was right: the half-foot was nothing compared to the two feet I ended up sinking even more.

Long story short, I ended up attracting the attention of some nearby campers with all of my spinning out, and they had to pull me out of the mud with their Toyota truck. And to add insult to injury, one of them said to me in parting, “Might wanna’ stick to tha dry dirt roads. I don’t think that there Jeep’s trail rated.” I wanted to ask him what the little medallion on the side of my Jeep indicated, but I didn’t want to seem ungrateful for his help, so I thanked him for his trouble and went on my way.

It’s always good to know the limits of your vehicle, because there is nothing worse than getting stuck in the mud miles away from any other humans. And don’t think the ground stops being soft after May. Many areas are still soggy into late August. Oh, and don’t trust the fancy little shiny pieces of metal that car companies decorate your car with (they put them on there to make you feel like the thousands of dollars you’re spending are really worth it). Have fun coating your vehicle in mud and may your winch serve you well!

Soothing the Savage Beast

On a really nice day last week I decided to go on a walking adventure with my wife and baby boy, Elijah. Eli doesn’t like sitting in his stroller, mostly because he can’t see the world around him very well, so I wore a chest carrier and he was able to observe everything in front of him. Plus there was a nice cool breeze that he could enjoy, and had he been sitting in his stroller, he wouldn’t have felt the full effects of it. Eli is a little heater and he overheats easily, so Utah spring weather is perfect for him.

Our first destination was the library. Eli was great the whole way there, but shortly after arriving he began to whimper. So we changed him. He continued to whimper. So we tried to feed him. He continued to whimper. So we attempted to rock him to sleep. He continued to whimper. Then he started to holler. Eli is only five months old, but he has a cry that will immediately make all of the women within hearing distance also cry as well as shatter most everybody’s eardrums. And we’re in the library. Needless to say there was only one thing to do: get the boy outside and away from the librarian with his finger to his lips making a “shhhh” sound. Right as we walked outside into the breeze and sunlight, Eli stopped yelling.

Our next destination was the grocery store. I figured I had given Eli enough time to soak in the outside air by the time we arrived there, but man, was I wrong. Two minutes into shopping Eli was already fixing to break every glass item in the store. So away we went outside. Within seconds Eli was calm again.

Elijah started falling asleep as we walked home and I hoped that he would stay that way so my wife and I could enjoy half an hour to ourselves, but as soon as we entered the house Eli was awake and sticking out his lower lip in a pout. I quickly grabbed a foam pad and a blanket and rushed him back outside into our front yard. I placed the pad down, put the blanket on top of it, and then deposited my incorrigible child on his back to stare up at the tree branches. He started to smile and make cooing noises. Then he looked me in the eye and said, “Dad, I don’t ever wanna go back in a building again. I want to live outside forever and ever and ever.” Well, he didn’t actually say that, of course, but that was the look he gave me.

My child already seems to have an affinity for the outside world. He loves a cool breeze on his face, he thoroughly enjoys looking at the different trees and plants all around, and he is completely at peace (as long as he’s not hungry/tired/wet) when he is outside. This could either be a wonderful start to a life of outdoors adventures or the signs of a future run-away child. Only time will tell. I hope it is the former option, as I plan on learning a whole bunch of things about nature as my son discovers the natural world.