Stuck in the Mud

It’s going to be a very wet April and May judging by the amount of snow that will soon be melting. For many of you that means you’ll be pitting your vehicles against the soggy trails in the mountains, mostly just for fun. There are few prouder than those who have mud covering every inch of their truck. Instead of having to boast out loud about how they live life on the edge, their truck screams it for them. You can tell the real serious mudders by the winch on the front of their vehicle. Not only do they know how to get out of a pickle, they know how to relish it.

I once owned a Jeep that had a seal on its frame indicating that it was “Trail Rated” or some such nonsense. I quickly found out, though, that the only trails it was rated for were the kind with lots of asphalt over the top of them. While out camping, I decided to take a trail that led out into the middle of a meadow where half of an old cabin stood. As the Jeep made its way using the tire tracks of previous vehicles, I could sense that the ground was a bit “squishy.” I wasn’t worried, however, because I had a “Trail Rated” Jeep, and surely a smidgen of squishiness wouldn’t stop me. Upon reaching the cabin, I began turning back to return from whence I came, but a knoll caught my eye and I thought, “Hey, my Jeep can handle that knoll.” Sure enough, the Jeep handled the knoll just fine; it was the shady part right past the small hill that proved unsuitable even for an upstanding Jeep like mine. As soon as the front tires made contact with the shadowy ground, the Jeep sunk down about a half-foot. “This is nothing,” I thought, pressing down on the gas pedal some more. I was right: the half-foot was nothing compared to the two feet I ended up sinking even more.

Long story short, I ended up attracting the attention of some nearby campers with all of my spinning out, and they had to pull me out of the mud with their Toyota truck. And to add insult to injury, one of them said to me in parting, “Might wanna’ stick to tha dry dirt roads. I don’t think that there Jeep’s trail rated.” I wanted to ask him what the little medallion on the side of my Jeep indicated, but I didn’t want to seem ungrateful for his help, so I thanked him for his trouble and went on my way.

It’s always good to know the limits of your vehicle, because there is nothing worse than getting stuck in the mud miles away from any other humans. And don’t think the ground stops being soft after May. Many areas are still soggy into late August. Oh, and don’t trust the fancy little shiny pieces of metal that car companies decorate your car with (they put them on there to make you feel like the thousands of dollars you’re spending are really worth it). Have fun coating your vehicle in mud and may your winch serve you well!