Lake Monsters

                Supposedly every lake has its monster. Loch Ness in Scotland contains a prehistoric plesiosaur. Lake Tahoe boasts a giant serpent. There is a white shark in Lac Simon in Quebec. Thunder Bay in Ontario is home to the Ugly Merman. Several lakes in the Congo are plagued by the fearsome Mokele-mbembe. Minnesota’s Red Lake has a fish-like monster that consumes the dead. And there are crocodilian horrors haunting Utah’s Bear and Great Salt Lakes. If you ever needed a reason not to enter the water, besides the movie Jaws, you have plenty now. And remember, I’m only referencing lakes. I’ve not accounted for the oceans and rivers of the world.

                There are two things that freak me out: deep, dark water and deep, dark caves. I like being able to see clearly for miles and miles, or at least more than fifteen feet, and neither murky water nor mysterious caves allow me to do that. Combine the two and you’ve got my worst nightmare. Actually, add a monster and you’ve got the worst possible scenario I can imagine. I can’t even handle the submarine ride at Disneyland.

                Anyway, the reason I bring up caves along with lake monsters is because there are allegations that most lakes of the world are connected by a network of caves that reach far beneath the ocean floor. The monster that people are seeing in Scotland could be the same monster popping up in a lake in China or California or Brazil.

                For many people, water monster sightings are just as ridiculous as alien sightings. One point I would like to pose, though, is that water monsters are a lot more plausible than aliens. They typically resemble something that actually exists in nature and they can easily hide out in their underwater caves. Also, it makes sense that monster sightings are not very common, considering the fact that the monster may be constantly in transit between multiple lakes in order to make appearances. And, since humans really are a rarity on and in the water, we are not a main food source, and therefore sightings may be few anyway.

                I, for one, do not care to disbelieve the rumors, mainly because so many movie characters’ famous last words echo the following sentiment: “There’s no (insert pretty much any animal, real or mythical, here) round these parts!” Plus, my fear of water monsters is an extremely deep-seated fear, and I don’t particularly care to test the validity of the stories. There’s no way I’m going down into water over ten feet deep to try and find a serpent or its lair.

                The next time you visit the Great Salt Lake or Bear Lake, be on the lookout for humongous crocodilian beasts. In the case of the Great Salt Lake, you may only see the creature’s giant horse head or hear its blood-curdling bellow before the monster consumes you. Trust me, the last thing you want to be known for saying in this life is: “There’s no North Shore Monster round these parts!”